Don’t ignore the power of stopping, listening and thinking before speaking up
The most impactful career advice I have ever received came from my father: “Stop, listen, and think before you speak” (although it was conveyed to me in a slightly more colorful way). Effective communication is paramount to both professional and personal success. My father’s advice has influenced my career and shaped my approach to all my interactions, both in and outside the office, leading me to more successful outcomes and personal growth.
The first two steps of his advice, “stop and listen,” were easy for me as a young, female associate who did not want to be noticed, for fear my inexperience would show. I was often invited to meetings in which I was one of very few women at the table. But my firm made clear they valued my place at the table. So I went, I sat, and I listened – to what the issues were; what the client needed; and how the firm would provide that. I listened, I learned, and then I thought. I thought about my roles in the case and on the team, and how I could help the team and client succeed. Although the answers to these questions changed with each client, the process did not.
In each case, once I identified my role, I spoke or acted in a way that I hoped provided a clear, concise answer or provided information that moved the team forward in some way. Was I developing the winning argument for the case? No. But by following my father’s advice, I was able to navigate complex interactions with both senior attorneys and clients alike and make better, more well-informed decisions.
I was having an impact – communicating ideas and making suggestions that ultimately affected my career trajectory. With each new matter, as I stopped, listened, and thought more, I was able to find my true direction at the firm and voice it. With my father’s advice and the encouragement of the attorneys with whom I worked, I found the support to move forward. Moving forward for me did not mean being a litigator; it meant transitioning into a position that required highly polished communication skills to connect with attorneys and staff at all levels. In my current position, I am able to help various firm employees achieve professional growth and establish their own career paths through mentorships and support.
Embracing my father’s advice has been instrumental in my career development. The principles of stopping, listening, and thinking before speaking remain central to my communication strategy, helping me build meaningful connections and make sound decisions. This advice has not only shaped my career but contributed to my personal growth, reinforcing the importance of thoughtful dialogue in achieving professional success.
