When you know what you are talking about, confidence comes easily
When I was in sixth grade, it was decreed that every student would have to take a turn delivering the “morning announcements.” This meant speaking into a microphone projected throughout the entire school. It was my personal nightmare. While I was always reasonably outgoing in small settings, the sound of my voice filling a quiet room filled me with dread.
My drive to succeed has always at least equaled my dislike of public speaking. So, I spoke when required. But the dread never ceased, and the butterflies never waned. I could not shake the feeling that my discomfort must be audible, and it betrayed some more fundamental shortcoming.
The law may seem a strange profession for someone who doesn’t like public speaking. But at some point, I learned most lawyers do a lot of writing and little public speaking. So I decided to roll the dice. My fear followed me into the early years of legal practice. No one was asking me to speak in court, but crowded conference calls were a daily occurrence. I was sure there were two types of people: those who had the natural confidence to speak freely, and those (like me) who had to carefully rehearse what they would say.
Ten years into my legal career, my public speaking anxiety is mostly a memory. Before approaching a podium to address a judge, I feel normal jitters, but nothing like dread. It is exciting and rewarding.
The process of overcoming my fears happened naturally over time, but two realizations were at the heart of the shift. First, if you put your head down and learn, you eventually will earn the confidence to stand up and lead. The first time I raised my hand to argue a motion in court it was a no-brainer because I knew the subject matter better than anyone else. It is a fundamentally different experience to speak with authority when you have mastered a topic than to muster the courage to riff about a topic you know little about.
Second, it is not inherently better to be natural and unscripted versus prepared and rehearsed. I have been wowed over the years by many fantastic lawyers–most of them women–who have delivered compelling remarks that are carefully scripted. And I have been underwhelmed by other fantastic lawyers–most of them men–who instead had the gall to shoot from the hip. If the side effect of self-consciousness is over-preparation, it may be more a strength than a weakness.
