She was a stranger in a strange land at 16 – and is stronger for it

At 16 years old, I told my parents that I wanted to live in Spain for a year. Not with them, but with strangers. I was attached to my mother at the hip, couldn’t find my way out of a paper bag, and spoke not one lick of Spanish. I had never been outside of my protective Jewish community. But, nevertheless, I thought this was a good idea. My parents, not so much. They were wary that I could not succeed in such an adventure. But off I went.

It was rough going at first. I envisioned Madrid or Barcelona, but I ended up in a small apartment in a six story walk up in a coal mining town in Asturias, Spain, in what was to me, the middle of nowhere. There was a serious language barrier. Showers had to be timed because on the sixth floor, there was no hot water if anyone on a floor below was using it. The family I was paired with was not tolerant of my “American” ways. I was unaccustomed to getting myself to and from school, no less on foot and on time. And, for the first time in my life, I experienced Antisemitism.

On the weekends, I was left by myself to fend for myself, at 16 years old, living in a foreign country unable to speak the language. And these were well before the days of computers, internet, email, cell phones, social media, or FaceTime. I was not allowed to use the landline for outgoing calls. So, to talk to my parents, I had to leave the apartment building to use a pay phone, call collect, which my parents would decline, and then race back upstairs in time to get my parents’ incoming call.

When I told my parents I wanted to go to Spain, they thought it was the worst idea ever. But it turned out to be one of my best. The initial strife I felt quickly melted away, and not only did I have a fabulous year, but the experience shaped who I am today. I learned to advocate for myself. I communicated with people in new ways. I embraced the Spanish language and became fluent. I was infected by a travel bug that has never left. I put aside my own prejudices to embrace tolerance of and respect for a new culture, religion, life philosophy, and a way of navigating the world. I made life-long international friendships that have developed into friendships now between our children.

Most importantly, I became a strong, confident, and determined woman who can accomplish anything.